EXCAVATING THE SHADOW
An autobiographical series about growing up with violence, survival mechanisms (DDA/DDD), and the journey back to yourself.
Volume I: Stolen Childhood — Return to Yourself
This first volume is the entry point: a childhood shaped by fear, silence, and the need to adapt. It shows how hypervigilance, shame, parentification, and “masks” become automatic — and how naming these mechanisms is the first step toward reclaiming yourself.
About the author — in the shadow
Robert Shadow
I write under a pen name, but this isn’t fiction. “Shadow” isn’t a character — it’s the name of a survival mechanism that once protected me when there was no other way. In this image you see two versions of the same person. The little boy is me — real, defenseless, still without words for what’s coming. The man in the shadow is also me — years later, grown, still carrying what stayed inside. “EXCAVATING THE SHADOW” is an attempt to unearth a voice and a truth from beneath the ruins of childhood — layer by layer. Not to build a legend. To call things by their names and take myself back. If you’re here, you may know what it means to live in the shadow. You can keep going with me — calmly, at your own pace.
Archival photos
Three pillars of the series
Testimony
A real story with real consequences. No glossing over, no “pretty” shortcuts.
Survival mechanisms (DDA/DDD)
Hypervigilance, parentification, shame, masks — things that once saved you, and later start to cost you.
The way back to yourself
I’m not promising miracles. I’m showing a process: understanding, naming, returning to dignity — step by step.
Why this series is called “EXCAVATING THE SHADOW”
I didn’t call this series a “diary,” because a diary can stay private. I didn’t call it a “confession,” because I’m not asking for absolution. This is a record — a record of putting a world back in order after years of everything being tangled: truth with lies, love with violence, shame with silence.
This isn’t about “the lucky one.” It’s about people who keep going anyway — and at some point realize that surviving is only the beginning. After that, you have to learn how to live without constant tension.
Why “shadow”? It isn’t a pose or a mystery for effect — it’s a boundary. The first name is real, but “Shadow” is a pen name: this story touches on matters where privacy can be the only form of safety. The shadow isn’t meant to hide the truth. It’s meant to protect the person who carries it.
Volume I
Volume I: Stolen Childhood — Return to Yourself
A childhood in the shadow of violence, neglect, and silence — and the first survival mechanisms that can stay in the body for a lifetime.
Next volumes (II–III)
In this volume I take off the suit of the successful man to reveal what lies beneath: paralyzing fear and a hunger for approval. It's a story of how childhood trauma turns into workaholism, perfectionism, and the desperate construction of an ideal life façade. You will learn the price paid for fleeing your own emotions and why the armor meant to protect eventually becomes a prison.
A story of climbing fast and chasing control through money and status — until the façade starts to crack. Volume III follows the moment success stops feeling like safety, and the price of the “mask” becomes impossible to ignore.
Read on Amazon
Author page on Amazon
If you want to begin without pressure, go to the author page. You’ll find Volume I and series updates there.
- Get a feel for the voice and atmosphere of the series
- See whether the topic is right for you right now
- Start without pressure and without hurry
Who is this story for?
For those who have been through their own storms and want to understand what trauma does to the body, relationships, and self-worth.
- If you grew up in a home where you had to “read” adults’ moods
- If you carry a vigilance you can’t switch off
- If success doesn’t calm you — it only exhausts you
- If you’re looking for words for your own experience (DDA/DDD)
Order Volume I
If you’d rather ease in gently, start with an excerpt. If you feel ready, Volume I is available in print.
Notifications
Join the list
If this story resonates with you, join a community of readers and people who are rebuilding themselves — your presence matters.
The surest way not to miss Volume II.
What will you get?
- Release and pre-order announcements
- Selected excerpts and series updates
- Brief, practical notes on DDA/DDD and trauma mechanisms
FAQ
Is this fiction?
Is this book for everyone?
Does this book replace therapy?
Why do you write under a pen name?
Where should I start?
Will there be an ebook / audiobook?
When is Volume II?
Will there be translations?
Where can I buy Volume I?
Can I get in touch about media or collaboration?
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Last updated: 28 Dec 2025
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